Episode 40: How to Trust the Process When Things Don't Make Sense in Your Journey
“What we are waiting for is not as important as what happens to us while we are waiting. Trust the process.” - Mandy Hale
When I graduated my Mental Health Counseling program in 2016, no one could have prepared me for what would happened.
I’d hear horror stories about interns having to start their supervision process over because of a supervisor who went MIA. Not in a million years would I have thought that this would have been my story. But it was…
After 3 years of studying, wasted money paying my former supervisor, and working hard to bring to fruition my dream of becoming a therapist, just like that it was gone.
My life had come to a pivotal moment where I had to decide what I was going to do with the card that was dealt to me.
You see, this isn’t the first time I had to make this decision. In the middle of my graduate program, I had a baby, planned a wedding, and canceled that wedding 30 days before walking down the aisle, I moved out of the home where I lived with my son’s father, and started my internship just a day later. 2016 was one of the hardest years of my life!
Just like my supervision experience, I had to decide, what was I going to do?
I graduated, on time, and found a job before my internship was over. I decided that I was going to finish, no matter what.
So when my former supervisor decided that she would not honor her side of the deal, I was prepared.
You see life has a way of preparing you for the tough times. Time and time again, I think of moments where life gave me the tools to deal with some of the biggest challenges I had to face.
So whenever I begin to doubt myself, I remember that I have to trust the process because I am being prepped.
You have to Trust the process:
I try to translate this very message to my clients, and other clinicians that I have been privileged to speak with through my creation of Supervision Support.
But what exactly does that mean?
For me, Trusting the process means remaining committed to the goal. Committed to the plan, in spite of what happens.
In spite of that failed test, in spite of the life tragedy, in spite of the job loss, in spite of the inconsiderate boss, in spite of the waiting period (whatever that looks likes for you). Trusting the process of your life is knowing that in whatever season you’re in, you’re being prepped. You’re being equipped with the tools for whatever is coming next.
When we’re right up against the pain, it’s hard for us to see. It’s like when children are standing too close to the TV… in order for them to get the full picture, they have to back up. The lessons in our lives, in our journeys to licensure, in that failed test, in the termination or being passed over for a position will come once we have space to reflect.
We owe it to ourselves to reflect. To try to make sense of what has been going on, even if it means we get help. But give yourself the grace to create those spaces.
Trust that what your journey to brining your dreams to fruition is specific to you and what you need in order to become that person.
So what does trusting the process mean for you?
What are you struggling with right now?
What is your mind telling you about this issue?
What can you learn from it?
How can letting go and trusting the process of your life, even though you have no idea what it is, can free you from the burden of trying to prevent the “bad things” from happening?
What would you tell a client?
Ask yourself these questions when things don’t make sense. When you end up in a position that just wasn’t what you expected, and when you’re feeling frustrated.
You have to remind yourself that what you’re was going through is difficult. That your feelings are real and valid, but that you can’t control what will happen next.
But here’s what you can do:
· Practice mindset shifts: Your greatest struggles will become your greatest opportunities for learning, and for growth. No matter whose graduating before you, getting the job, or passing their licensing tests. Your journey is your own and thinking of the difficult moments as OPPORTUNITIES for growth can help you begin to think differently about how to approach them.
· Release what no longer serves you: What are you holding on to in this process that keeping you from moving forward. If I sat around and held a grudge towards my former supervisor, it would leave me heavy and stuck. What she did to me, had nothing to do with me. It was a reflection of who she was as a person. What are you holding on to? Do the work to identify it, and begin the process of release.
· Practice Acceptance: Acceptance happens one breath at a time. Understand that your life is playing out as it should be, and even if you don’t want to deal with that problems you’re facing right away, you can still be okay with them, accept their existence.
Well that’s it for this week guys. I hope this has been helpful. I want to encourage you to continue to fight the good fight and know that we’re all in this together.
If you love what you heard today, head on over to apple podcast and leave us a review! Until next time, have a wonderful week.